6/19/2011
I apologize in advance because I know for certain that this will be a long blog. The events for this day are numerous as well as the emotion behind it all.
This morning I woke up unexpectedly due to a most vivid, life-like dream. In all my life, I have never had a dream this clear and effect me so deeply. The dream began in a foreign church. I don't really recall where I was at, but I was not in the states. The Spirit of the Lord came upon me and I began to prophesy to the congregation. As I was prophesying, a man stood up in the crowd and began to speak in an unknown tongue. Instantly, my spirit was grieved and I knew this was not from the Lord. The scripture in 1 Corinthians came up in my heart descibing events in a service are to be done in order, that there should not be anything that causes confusion. I began to speak in an unknown tongue that was not my prayer language and it was getting progressively louder and louder. As I was speaking, the man began to get louder and louder as well. I remember looking into his eyes and seeing evil. I honestly don't know any other way to describe it. This man was not a vessel of God. Suddenly, the power of God came upon me like I have never experienced. My body began to quake and shudder from the power that was overcoming me. I began to speak louder and I looked at the man, who was still speaking in his tongue and I yelled, "BE STILL!". I woke myself up screaming these words, and as I laid in bed, my body was still under the power of God and was trembling. I held on to this dream and began to ponder it in my heart.
Sunday morning I had volunteered to help Teresa with worship. Looking back on it, I have come to the conclusion that I was definitely moved by the Spirit of God, or I had a total moment of lunacy. Either way, I was not looking forward to helping. Now when I say I was not looking forward to helping, I don't mean that negatively at all. What I mean to say is fear began to take hold of my heart and I wanted to take the coward's way out. My fight or flight reflex kicked in and I wanted to flee...far, far, away.
Earlier in the week, Teresa had mentioned if anyone wanted to help out with worship to let her know. I entertained the idea in my mind, but had no definite feeling one way or the other. One evening I went upstairs and ran into Teresa. Out of nowhere, my mouth was uttering the words, "I would like to help you out with worship, if that's okay with you." Don't ask me how or why it happened, because I cannot give you a clear answer, it just happened.
Well, today was the day to help out with worship and knots began to tighten in my stomach. What had I been thinking? I have never sang with Teresa before. I didn't know how she led. I didn't know some of the songs. To top it all off, I certainly didn't know Spanish. I must have had some sort of Dominican fever when I approached Teresa! That was not characteristic of me at all.
Teresa, Amy, and I arrived at International Christian Church (ICC) early for music practice. As I mentioned earlier, fear was really taking hold of me. As we were setting up, I told Teresa that I would be more comfortable to practice this upcoming week with her and sing next week instead of today. Teresa is so sweet! She said that was fine and I could practice today. Unaware of our conversation, Jim handed me a cordless microphone to sing into. "Um...no Jim. I just spoke with your wife and I am a coward and am fearful to sing today. She said it was okay, so I won't be singing today." These thoughts raced through my mind as well as extreme disappointment for not honoring my word. As the songs were being practiced, I began to sing into the mic and was relieved to realize that I did know a majority of the songs that were being sung. Also, I began to notice there was an anointing that I could not deny. I am not one for the "goosebumps" gospel, but today I really had goosebumps as we were practicing.
I believe Teresa recognized this as well, or she noticed my confidence rising, because she moved me next to her to sing. This was it...I was all in! I would give God my all in my worship because that is what He created me for and requires from me. Whether I am in my home church or another country, I should use the giftings that God has given me to benefit others. Period end! It is selfishness to look at my weakness and think that God will not be glorified. The Bible counters this by showing us that in our weakness, God is made strong. (But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.) - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The Lord showed up in a mighty way in service!! His presence was so strong and the worship was so anointed! I am so thankful for Teresa. This woman loves the Lord with all her heart and her heart of worship really draws others into the throneroom of our living God. That church is very blessed to have such a mighty woman of God serving them.
After church, we went to a restaurant for lunch. This restaurant was pretty neat. It was buffet style and offered goat, chicken, pork, and a lot of other foods that I have never experienced. There was an eggplant dish that was suprisingly pretty tasty. Also, this restaurant had horses that would come out as you ate and they would trot in a fancy manner, kinda for show. What captivated me most with this restaurant was the incredible view that was offered. I will include a couple of pictures of what could be seen. I am such a visual person and it was so neat to take this all in. You could see buildings that were painted brightly with very vivid colors and you could see for miles and miles!
See? Isn't it breathtaking! Oh yeah, I totally forgot the mountains! I loved it! :)
After lunch, we headed back to the house for a mandated siesta! Really, it was required for us to rest and it was very well recieved! Actually, I think Americans need to take mandatory siestas. I bet we would be a lot happier and less stressed. This was definitely a highlight of my day.
Later that day, it was planned for us to go to an orphanage and spend time loving on kids. Anyone who knows anything about me, knows I have a passionate heart for children! Needless to say, I knew I was going into my element and was very excited to spend time with these kids. As soon as we arrived, we were greeted with smiling faces and eyes aglow. We couldn't get out of the truck fast enough and as soon as we did we were bombarded with hugs and greetings. This, my friends, is one of the reasons Jesus said let the little children come.
We met so many incredible children! What stood out the most to me was the hope and joy these children posessed. Despite their circumstances, they were more concerned with loving on us than receiving the love we could offer. This was certainly a way the Lord revealed Himself to me. There was a little girl that instantly captivated my heart. Regretfully, I don't remember her name, but she is the one pictured on my blog home page. This young girl was a firecracker! She had so much energy and like any typical toddler kept you on your feet at all times. Honestly, the group would keep passing her off to one another becasue of her energy level. We would be exhausted and she was the energizer bunny!
There was another young girl that stole every team members' heart. Her name is Jordalisa and her story and that of her brother is both heartbreaking and encouraging. These two children were born blind. Her brother was not only blind, but is mute and is lame. Unable to properly care for them, their parents took them to an orphanage where they did not receive the care they needed. In fact, when Rosa (I'll tell you more about her later) came across these children they were in really bad shape. The orpahnage they were placed in was not able to provide the care and attention these children needed. Jordalisa's brother was completely emaciated and had fly eggs in his eyes when the two were removed from that orphanage and brought to Rosa's haven.
As Rosa was telling us this story, she passed a picture around of the boy and the condition he was in prior to being rescued. I will be blunt here, the boy looked like he was dead. When I compared the picture to the boy I now saw, I had to do a triple take. Surely this isn't the same child. God had restored this boy back to health and in spite of his disabilities he was thriving. Jordalisa was thriving as well and was radiating like a beacon in the night. Such an inviting sight.
Rosa is the founder of the orphanage. Her testimony is incredible and though I will try to accurately recount it to you, I know it will never do justice. Rosa grew up very poor. I am not certain how she gave her life to the Lord, but after she did her family basically disowned her. She had a heart of caregiving and would always place others' needs before her own. I am not sure how she became involved working with orphans, but the orphanage is a testimony of great faith and God's provision. She recognized there was a need and she knew God had spoken to her about a building that was up for sale. This building was very expensive and her income didn't even come close to what they were asking. However, she believed in the faithfulness of God and His word. A divine encounter led her to an elderly woman that she began to take care of. This woman would talk to Rosa about her dream to open an orphanage, and told Rosa that it was put on her heart to buy the building that God spoke to her about. However, when they were trying to buy it, the price jumped on the house and it looked like she was not going to buy the orphanage. Devastaed, Rosa went to the Lord in prayer. Again, God told her that the building would be hers. As God would have it, the woman that Rosa had been helping out paid for the house in full and Rosa's dream began to come to life.
Rosa now has many children in her care and she constantly lavishes them in love. She is raising up an army of Bible believing, God-fearing, ambassadors and I am requesting that you please keep her, the children and the orphanage lifted up in prayer. It is not easy taking care of all the children and finances are a huge difficulty. There was a story shared about not having food to feed the children one time. This woman of faith put water on to boil, knowing that there was no food to put in the water. As soon as the water began to boil, a man knocked on her door with a huge bag of rice. He told her that he came to give her this food for the children. Again, God provided the needs of His children and has always been proven faithful. I will include a few pictures of Rosa, Jordalissa and her brother, and some other children.
To even try to put into words what I experienced or the overwhelming emotions that overtook me would be futile. I know that my life has been forever changed by meeting these incredible individuals. In fact, I believe God has branded my heart during this visit. I have to confess, I was a little overwhelmed by the language barrier and not being able to verbally communicate with these children. However God, in his infinite greatness again revealed Himself to me in a mighty way. I was shown that the language does not matter. In fact words can be meaningless. The true language that others understand is the language of love. People can recognize this very easily and to see the response is overwhelming. These children lavished so much love on the team and myself that I felt guilty. We were here to show them the love of Christ and the showed me a much greater love than I could give. Tears come to my eyes even now.
If anything, this day has put an even greater burden on my heart to GO! To fulfill the comission to make disciples of all nations. There is a dying world out there and I have been so selfish to put my own life in front of them. Listen, I know when I die I will be with Christ and that my eternity is established. Why in the world don't I care about others' eternity. Is it because I am "safe"? That is so ignorant and selfish. As Christa has pointed out numerous times, there are so many people condemned to hell and I am just sitting back allowing them to make that decision. If my best friend was going to jump in a fire, I would do everything in my power to prevent this from happening. I know the consequences would be so severe and this action could kill him/her. The same is true in the spiritual sense. So many people we know are going to hell. Hell is a terrible place that I can't even fathom, yet we sit back and say, "well, they are able to make their own decision." This mentality is dangerous. Someone considered you worthy enough to intercede for you and witness to you and tell you about Jesus. Then why are we not doing this for others. Maybe these are the ramblings of a zealous person, but great conviction came in my heart. What are you doing to change the world around you? What kind of witness are you to others who don't know the love of Christ? Who are you really when nobody else is around? We need a change that is evident to a lost and dying world.
Lord, I pray that you would start with me, in my heart. Break my heart for the things that break yours. Give me a boldness that I have never posessed and humble me to the point of not allowing others' thoughts about me to dictate my actions. God, please use me for the advancement of your kingdom and to spread the news of the hope and life I have found in you. I thank you for the love you have lavished on me. I know the reason I love You is because You first loved me. In fact, You loved me when I was unloveable. You gave me life when I was drowning in death and You truly have given me beauty for ashes. I am so thankful. I love You, I love You, I love You!!
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