Coconut Bread and Humble Pie

June 20

We began this morning much like our previous mornings with a great breakfast and then packing our lunches to take to the DTC.  Today would be the last day we were scheduled to work at the DTC so we knew we had to make it count.  We had to stop at Ochoas to pick up some materials and then would be on our way.  As the team explored the store, Stefanie and I remained in the back of the truck to catch a little sun.  I also needed this time to worship.  I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but it seemed like the team was drifting apart.  The unity we had experienced prior to our arriving seemed to be dissipating and I was extremely unsettled.  I began to pray for our unity as well as the upcoming day’s work.  I immersed myself in some worship songs, trying to bring my heart and mind into captivity focusing on Christ.  I also had a knot in my stomach, feeling God was going to require more of me than I was used to giving, and tragically I had no idea what He was requesting.  “God, please let me glorify Your name.  You know my fears and insecurities yet I know I can do all things through You who strengthen me.  Thank you for wanting to use me, and please don’t let me disappoint You.  In Jesus’ name, amen.”

The team got the needed materials and piled in the back of the truck.  Nathan really wanted to sing songs and worship.  However, we couldn’t find a song we all agreed on, so Amy began to lead the pack.  She began to teach us songs and hand movements.  It was a lot of fun, plus it was a valiant effort in keeping my mind off of the distractions that had been plaguing me.  Amy would have us sing and she would pretend to “sign” the songs.  Her interpretations of the songs were hysterical and had us rolling.  Even as all this was going on, my heart kept coming back to what I knew God was asking me.  It’s a little strange how you can be doing activities and wearing a smile on your face, while the inside of you is extremely unsettled.

We arrived at the DTC and dispersed into groups.  Some of the team would be working outside, while the rest of us would be in the warehouse painting the rafters.  I know this may seem silly to some people, but I have a complete terror of climbing ladders and heights.  I don’t know where it stemmed from or even why I have it.  I think it has increased the older I get, probably due to fact that I understand more clearly the consequences that can occur if you fall from them.  Whatever the reason, I was not looking forward to today.  I was spending a lot of time in prayer and asking God to give me strength.

The team brought up the ladders, paint brushes, paint and other supplies.  I grabbed the ladder I would be using (of course I picked the most sturdy, stable looking one!) and took a deep breath.  “God, help me,” I silently prayed.  I stepped on the ladder and an overwhelming peace took over.  Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely was not experiencing joy while I was up there, but I certainly couldn’t deny God’s presence was with me.  Every time I would have to climb down and then back up, I believe my knees were buckling and my fists were clenched white, but I knew I was not doing this for me.  This warehouse needed painted and this was an assignment from the throneroom.  I had to fulfill it.

There was a slight issue with me painting the rafters however.  Even though I was on a ladder, I am a little short in stature, so there were places I was not able to reach.  “How am I going to paint those areas?  What am I going to do?”  Well, God already anticipated my need and had already sent someone to help me.  I turned around and Daniel was already painting the areas I was not able to reach.  “God, THANK YOU!”  I really can’t convey how thankful I was for Daniel.  Actually, I think I was so overwhelmed that I never thanked him.  I do remember praying for him though, that God would bless him abundantly for his servant’s heart.

Before lunch, we went to a Coconette.  This is a place in the DR that makes coconut bread.  We would be going to see how it was made and purchase some to take for our lunch.  The drive there was beautiful, much like all the scenery in the DR.  It seemed like we were driving up a mountain and the different elevations were a spectacular sight to see.  I am not quite sure what I was expecting, but when we arrived it was not like what I had imagined.  I guess I had pictured a store or building where they manufacture the coconut bread- maybe hair nets would be required.  This image was the farthest from the truth!  We arrived and surprisingly I was taken aback by an overwhelming stench.  I have never smelled anything like this and to top it off there were bees and flies swarming the area.  “Did we take a wrong turn?  Are we in the right place?” were thoughts that crossed my mind.  Daniel hopped out of the truck confirming that we were indeed in the correct place.  I shrugged and climbed out of the truck as well.  I was here, might as well enjoy it.  We took a little “tour”, but the workers were on lunch, so there were only a couple of people there.

One thing that really jumped out to me was the children I saw working there.  These children were probably about 8-9 years of age and they were carrying these huge trays of bread that had just been taken out of a fire.  Honestly, my heart was grieved for the scene I saw.  Like I have previously mentioned, I have a tremendous heart for children and to see them working harder than most Americans had a lasting impact on my heart.  This was all the children knew and I began to feel guilty for all the luxuries I take advantage of.  I believe every Christian should take a mission trip to another country, even if the only thing they get out of it is to see how truly blessed we are.  It really puts a perspective in your heart that you will never be released from.

Back to the coconut bread!  We walked around the area to a place that had all the used and discarded coconuts.  It was on a huge hill and if you looked down it all you could see were old coconut shells.  It went down for miles and miles.  I have never seen so many coconuts in all my life.  Then we followed a path that leads to where they create the mixture for the bread.  I will not lie to you.  It looked disgusting!  There were so many flies landing on and swarming the huge mixing bowls.  There was an awful stench as well.  I am not sure what the smell was, nor do I care to know.  In this case, ignorance is truly bliss.

I followed Daniel to another area where they were pulling out the freshly baked bread.  They were cutting it, separating, it and bagging it.  One of the men there asked if I wanted a piece of bread.  Not really sure if it was okay, I asked Daniel before I accepted this man’s generosity.  There were flies all over the bread, but I didn’t want to offend anyone by not accepting the hospitality I was shown.  I took a piece of bread and sampled a bite.  Actually, it tasted really good.  It had a mild sweetness and a flavor that reminded me of zucchini bread.  I couldn’t believe that I was eating and enjoying this bread since it was covered in flies and I saw how it was made.  I will try to include pictures of what we experienced.

After the Coconette, we headed back to the DTC for lunch.  Most of the team had sampled the coconut bread prior to lunch, so our appetites were pretty satiated.  I have never heard the team so silent!  In fact, after everyone was done eating, they all began to sprawl out on the concrete foundation and began to nap!  I was too busy taking everything in and spending time in quiet prayer.  I looked at everyone taking their cat naps and a scripture came into my mind.  “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands and poverty will come upon you…”  I couldn’t help it, but this proverb was alive in my heart and I wanted to get back to work.  I left the sleeping team and walked back to the warehouse to pick up where I left off. 

Rachel soon followed me agreeing there was too much work to be done.  The two of us began to hum worship songs as we painted the rafters.  We were joined by the rest of the team shortly after and we poured all our effort into completing this warehouse.  We finished a little later than we would have liked, but it was a job well done.  It was time to head back to the house and get ready for our jazz night that was planned.

There was not much time to get ready for jazz night.  We all had to get quick showers, dressed, and be ready for dinner in about fifteen minutes.  Now remember, there are 6 women on this team and to be able to accomplish this task is pretty ambitious or nearly impossible.  If you remember, tensions already seemed a little high and to have the expectation put on us added even more stress to an already crumbling team.  Sadly, we took longer than anticipated and some of us were late to dinner.  Fortunately, the team waited on us for dinner.

 We went around the table discussing our highs and lows for the day.  I already knew what mine would be.  It was my turn so I shared that my low for the day was climbing the ladder to paint because I hate ladders.  I also shared that my high was climbing the ladder to paint because it was no longer about me.  I began to look down at my plate, a little embarrassed that I was getting choked up and didn’t want anyone to see the impact this had on me.  I couldn’t even share that my other high was Daniel helping me with the areas I could not reach.  I couldn’t get the words out.  Teresa was gracious enough to affirm me and point out that this was a victory.  She was right.  God had given me a huge victory today.

We shoveled the food in our mouths and headed out the door.  Adam drove the Jeep and Daniel drove the truck.  I was in the Jeep along with some other team members.  I could feel this ominous tension in the air and then Adam spoke.  He sternly addressed the issue of some of us being late for dinner and the disrespect that was shown to his parents.  I don’t do very well with confrontation and it takes a lot for me to open my mouth.  However, I did open my mouth and tried to explain the frustration that several of us were feeling.  That did not go over too well and an even harsher rebuke came from Adam.  I don’t handle this type of confrontation well at all.  I have a tendency to shut down when there is conflict especially when voices are raised.   My heart was defeated and I remained silent.

We arrived and before we went into the building Adam gathered the group together for a time of prayer.  (Please don’t judge me and realize that I am trying to be as transparent as possible.)  The last thing I wanted to do was to pray.  Anger filled my mind as we were praying.  “How could you pray after you just scolded us like five year olds?  You really expect me to go into this night and wear a smile?  I don’t think so!”  Pride had reared up in me, and I was like a horse kicking against the pulling of the bit.  Maybe there was truth in what Adam had addressed, but why couldn’t he step back and see from my point of view? 

I couldn’t get my mind off of this.  The entire night I tried to fake a smile and desperately tried to enjoy the jazz music.  No matter how hard I tried, the futility of the matter was at hand.  There was no getting around this.  I kept pondering this evening’s events in my heart and was praying to God to help me.  Help me understand.  Help me grow in this.  Help me to see the truth and not what I am feeling.  There was such heaviness in me that I honestly felt like I was suffocating.  I wanted to flee from this scene, from this night, even from the Dominican.  I told Adam I needed to get some air and went outside.  I found a nice ledge that overlooked the city and began to talk to God.

It didn’t take long for God to get a hold of me.  Regardless of my feelings, Adam was the team leader and I was supposed to submit to that authority.  He was right when he addressed the disrespect that was shown to Jim and Teresa.  I was out of line.  I didn’t know how to fix this or even where to start.  It is not easy when God reveals things in you that you never knew were there.  Let alone, when He points the finger at you.  God had just given me a massive dose of humble pie and I didn’t want to digest it.

Adam came outside to check on me and I couldn’t even look him in the eye.  I was so ashamed of my actions.  I was even more ashamed of dishonoring Jim and Teresa.  I began to apologize and tears began to flow.  Everything that had been building up was coming out.  I addressed the division of the team with Adam.  I told him how fearful I was of this division, especially since we were going to Haiti later in the week.  He offered some words of encouragement, and I did feel like a huge weight had been lifted.  It was a relief to discuss these concerns with him and to have them acknowledged. 

Adam and I returned to the group and we were able to see the group chatting with some people that they had met.  Christa was speaking with a woman that was extremely lost.  She knew just enough about Jesus to claim she knew Him, but she believed so many lies.  I really am not sure what she religion she professed, but to me it sounded like a mixture of several religions.  It amazes me how so many people believe a distorted truth, or take pieces they want but leave out necessary elements of salvation.  I was certainly proud of Christa though.  She boldly told this woman the truth and that Jesus loves her.  The compassion I saw in Christa’s eyes really convicted me.  I am so thankful that she joined us on this trip.  She led the example of what our Christian lives should resemble.   It is our responsibility to tell these lost people the truth.  Again, I felt shame for being so concerned with my emotional state instead of the people who really needed to know about Jesus.  I purposed in my heart that tomorrow would be a different day and I was ready for what was in store for me. 

No Greater Love

6/19/2011

I apologize in advance because I know for certain that this will be a long blog.  The events for this day are numerous as well as the emotion behind it all.

This morning I woke up unexpectedly due to a most vivid, life-like dream.  In all my life, I have never had a dream this clear and effect me so deeply.  The dream began in a foreign church.  I don't really recall where I was at, but I was not in the states.  The Spirit of the Lord came upon me and I began to prophesy to the congregation.  As I was prophesying, a man stood up in the crowd and began to speak in an unknown tongue.  Instantly, my spirit was grieved and I knew this was not from the Lord.  The scripture in 1 Corinthians came up in my heart descibing events in a service are to be done in order, that there should not be anything that causes confusion.  I began to speak in an unknown tongue that was not my prayer language and it was getting progressively louder and louder.  As I was speaking, the man began to get louder and louder as well.  I remember looking into his eyes and seeing evil.  I honestly don't know any other way to describe it.  This man was not a vessel of God.  Suddenly, the power of God came upon me like I have never experienced.  My body began to quake and shudder from the power that was overcoming me.  I began to speak louder and I looked at the man, who was still speaking in his tongue and I yelled, "BE STILL!".  I woke myself up screaming these words, and as I laid in bed, my body was still under the power of God and was trembling.  I held on to this dream and began to ponder it in my heart.

Sunday morning I had volunteered to help Teresa with worship.  Looking back on it, I have come to the conclusion that I was definitely moved by the Spirit of God, or I had a total moment of lunacy.  Either way, I was not looking forward to helping.  Now when I say I was not looking forward to helping, I don't mean that negatively at all.  What I mean to say is fear began to take hold of my heart and I wanted to take the coward's way out.  My fight or flight reflex kicked in and I wanted to flee...far, far, away. 

Earlier in the week, Teresa had mentioned if anyone wanted to help out with worship to let her know.  I entertained the idea in my mind, but had no definite feeling one way or the other.  One evening I went upstairs and ran into Teresa.  Out of nowhere, my mouth was uttering the words, "I would like to help you out with worship, if that's okay with you."  Don't ask me how or why it happened, because I cannot give you a clear answer, it just happened.

Well, today was the day to help out with worship and knots began to tighten in my stomach.  What had I been thinking?  I have never sang with Teresa before.  I didn't know how she led.  I didn't know some of the songs.  To top it all off, I certainly didn't know Spanish.  I must have had some sort of Dominican fever when I approached Teresa!  That was not characteristic of me at all.

Teresa, Amy, and I arrived at International Christian Church (ICC) early for music practice.  As I mentioned earlier, fear was really taking hold of me.  As we were setting up, I told Teresa that I would be more comfortable to practice this upcoming week with her and sing next week instead of today.  Teresa is so sweet!  She said that was fine and I could practice today.  Unaware of our conversation, Jim handed me a cordless microphone to sing into.  "Um...no Jim.  I just spoke with your wife and I am a coward and am fearful to sing today.  She said it was okay, so I won't be singing today."  These thoughts raced through my mind as well as extreme disappointment for not honoring my word.  As the songs were being practiced, I began to sing into the mic and was relieved to realize that I did know a majority of the songs that were being sung.  Also, I began to notice there was an anointing that I could not deny.  I am not one for the "goosebumps" gospel, but today I really had goosebumps as we were practicing. 

I believe Teresa recognized this as well, or she noticed my confidence rising, because she moved me next to her to sing.  This was it...I was all in!  I would give God my all in my worship because that is what He created me for and requires from me.  Whether I am in my home church or another country, I should use the giftings that God has given me to benefit others.  Period end!  It is selfishness to look at my weakness and think that God will not be glorified.  The Bible counters this by showing us that in our weakness, God is made strong.  (But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.) - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The Lord showed up in a mighty way in service!!  His presence was so strong and the worship was so anointed!  I am so thankful for Teresa.  This woman loves the Lord with all her heart and her heart of worship really draws others into the throneroom of our living God.  That church is very blessed to have such a mighty woman of God serving them.

After church, we went to a restaurant for lunch.  This restaurant was pretty neat.  It was buffet style and offered goat, chicken, pork, and a lot of other foods that I have never experienced.  There was an eggplant dish that was suprisingly pretty tasty.  Also, this restaurant had horses that would come out as you ate and they would trot in a fancy manner, kinda for show.  What captivated me most with this restaurant was the incredible view that was offered.  I will include a couple of pictures of what could be seen.  I am such a visual person and it was so neat to take this all in.  You could see buildings that were painted brightly with very vivid colors and you could see for miles and miles!

See?  Isn't it breathtaking!  Oh yeah, I totally forgot the mountains!  I loved it!  :)

 

After lunch, we headed back to the house for a mandated siesta!  Really, it was required for us to rest and it was very well recieved!  Actually, I think Americans need to take mandatory siestas. I bet we would be a lot happier and less stressed.  This was definitely a highlight of my day.

 

Later that day, it was planned for us to go to an orphanage and spend time loving on kids.  Anyone who knows anything about me, knows I have a passionate heart for children!  Needless to say, I knew I was going into my element and was very excited to spend time with these kids.  As soon as we arrived, we were greeted with smiling faces and eyes aglow.  We couldn't get out of the truck fast enough and as soon as we did we were bombarded with hugs and greetings.  This, my friends, is one of the reasons Jesus said let the little children come.

 

We met so many incredible children!  What stood out the most to me was the hope and joy these children posessed.  Despite their circumstances, they were more concerned with loving on us than receiving the love we could offer.  This was certainly a way the Lord revealed Himself to me.  There was a little girl that instantly captivated my heart.  Regretfully, I don't remember her name, but she is the one pictured on my blog home page.  This young girl was a firecracker!  She had so much energy and like any typical toddler kept you on your feet at all times.  Honestly, the group would keep passing her off to one another becasue of her energy level. We would be exhausted and she was the energizer bunny!

 

There was another young girl that stole every team members' heart.  Her name is Jordalisa and her story and that of her brother is both heartbreaking and encouraging.  These two children were born blind.  Her brother was not only blind, but is mute and is lame.  Unable to properly care for them, their parents took them to an orphanage where they did not receive the care they needed.  In fact, when Rosa (I'll tell you more about her later) came across these children they were in really bad shape.  The orpahnage they were placed in was not able to provide the care and attention these children needed.  Jordalisa's brother was completely emaciated and had fly eggs in his eyes when the two were removed from that orphanage and brought to Rosa's haven.

 

As Rosa was telling us this story, she passed a picture around of the boy and the condition he was in prior to being rescued.  I will be blunt here, the boy looked like he was dead.  When I compared the picture to the boy I now saw, I had to do a triple take.  Surely this isn't the same child.  God had restored this boy back to health and in spite of his disabilities he was thriving.  Jordalisa was thriving as well and was radiating like a beacon in the night.  Such an inviting sight.

 

Rosa is the founder of the orphanage.  Her testimony is incredible and though I will try to accurately recount it to you, I know it will never do justice.  Rosa grew up very poor.  I am not certain how she gave her life to the Lord, but after she did her family basically disowned her.  She had a heart of caregiving and would always place others' needs before her own.  I am not sure how she became involved working with orphans, but the orphanage is a testimony of great faith and God's provision.  She recognized there was a need and she knew God had spoken to her about a building that was up for sale.  This building was very expensive and her income didn't even come close to what they were asking.  However, she believed in the faithfulness of God and His word.  A divine encounter led her to an elderly woman that she began to take care of.  This woman would talk to Rosa about her dream to open an orphanage, and told Rosa that it was put on her heart to buy the building that God spoke to her about.  However, when they were trying to buy it, the price jumped on the house and it looked like she was not going to buy the orphanage.  Devastaed, Rosa went to the Lord in prayer.  Again, God told her that the building would be hers.  As God would have it, the woman that Rosa had been helping out paid for the house in full and Rosa's dream began to come to life.

 

Rosa now has many children in her care and she constantly lavishes them in love.  She is raising up an army of Bible believing, God-fearing, ambassadors and I am requesting that you please keep her, the children and the orphanage lifted up in prayer.  It is not easy taking care of all the children and finances are a huge difficulty.  There was a story shared about not having food to feed the children one time.  This woman of faith put water on to boil, knowing that there was no food to put in the water.  As soon as the water began to boil, a man knocked on her door with a huge bag of rice.  He told her that he came to give her this food for the children.  Again, God provided the needs of His children and has always been proven faithful.  I will include a few pictures of Rosa, Jordalissa and her brother, and some other children.

 

 

 

To even try to put into words what I experienced or the overwhelming emotions that overtook me would be futile.  I know that my life has been forever changed by meeting these incredible individuals.  In fact, I believe God has branded my heart during this visit.  I have to confess, I was a little overwhelmed by the language barrier and not being able to verbally communicate with these children.  However God, in his infinite greatness again revealed Himself to me in a mighty way.  I was shown that the language does not matter.  In fact words can be meaningless.  The true language that others understand is the language of love.  People can recognize this very easily and to see the response is overwhelming.  These children lavished so much love on the team and myself that I felt guilty.  We were here to show them the love of Christ and the showed me a much greater love than I could give.  Tears come to my eyes even now.

 

If anything, this day has put an even greater burden on my heart to GO!  To fulfill the comission to make disciples of all nations.  There is a dying world out there and I have been so selfish to put my own life in front of them.  Listen, I know when I die I will be with Christ and that my eternity is established.  Why in the world don't I care about others' eternity.  Is it because I am "safe"?  That is so ignorant and selfish.  As Christa has pointed out numerous times, there are so many people condemned to hell and I am just sitting back allowing them to make that decision.  If my best friend was going to jump in a fire, I would do everything in my power to prevent this from happening.  I know the consequences would be so severe and this action could kill him/her.  The same is true in the spiritual sense.  So many people we know are going to hell.  Hell is a terrible place that I can't even fathom, yet we sit back and say, "well, they are able to make their own decision."  This mentality is dangerous.  Someone considered you worthy enough to intercede for you and witness to you and tell you about Jesus.  Then why are we not doing this for others.  Maybe these are the ramblings of a zealous person, but great conviction came in my heart.  What are you doing to change the world around you?  What kind of witness are you to others who don't know the love of Christ?  Who are you really when nobody else is around?  We need a change that is evident to a lost and dying world. 

 

Lord, I pray that you would start with me, in my heart.  Break my heart for the things that break yours.  Give me a boldness that I have never posessed and humble me to the point of not allowing others' thoughts about me to dictate my actions.  God, please use me for the advancement of your kingdom and to spread the news of the hope and life I have found in you.  I thank you for the love you have lavished on me.  I know the reason I love You is because You first loved me.  In fact, You loved me when I was unloveable.  You gave me life when I was drowning in death and You truly have given me beauty for ashes.  I am so thankful.  I love You, I love You, I love You!!

 

 

Back to the DTC...

6/18/2011

Today began very similar to yesterday.  The team woke up early, ate breakfast, and packed our lunches to take to the DTC.   We loaded up the truck with supplies and all hopped into the back.  Sometimes, the members of the team had to become part-time contortionists so we could all fit in the back of that truck.  It was not uncommon to have someone’s legs on top of yours while your stretched out legs were encroaching on another’s personal space.  Needless to say, we became very close during these rides, but as I mentioned earlier, I loved it!  Nathan had suggested that we sing some songs on the way, so Amy and I would come up with songs and start the team off.  It was pretty fun singing worship songs in the back of a pickup truck in the Dominican Republic!!

We were able to get a little earlier start than the previous day, so we arrived at the DTC around 8:30.  It didn’t take long for the team to get to work.  We knew the rest of the rafters needed primed and so did the outside of the building and we needed to start painting, so we lugged the paint, brushes, rollers, and trays up to the second story.  The team split up with Adam, Rachel, Daniel, and Christa on the rafters.  Amy and Whitney worked on painting the windows, while Nathan, Stefanie, and myself moved outside to get priming and painting done.

I can’t really tell you what happened on the inside of the DTC because my perspective only came from the outside where I was working.  I was with Nathan, and we had to lay down some plywood on the deck to avoid paint stains.  He was priming the outside of the building, while I was painting the top of the DTC.  It was a little comical to see, because we were constantly changing positions and switching places with one another.  I was using my roller above his head, while he was priming below me.  A couple of times, my paint would rain down on him, giving Nathan white speckles all over.

Stefanie soon joined us, ladder in hand.  An admiration for Stefanie began to well up in my heart.  I noticed what a hard worker she was and admired the fact that she would volunteer for the hard jobs.  She was one of the members on the scaffold the previous day and now she was unafraid to climb a ladder to paint the places that the roller couldn’t reach.  I was very proud to have her as a teammate. 

After lunch, a majority of the team was inside the DTC priming the rafters still and painting the walls.  Daniel and Adam moved outside to help Jim paint the outside of the building.  Seeing that Whitney and Amy were painting the walls left me with no other option but to grab a brush and ladder and help the team with the rafters.  To be perfectly transparent here, I HATE ladders as much as I hate heights.  I am not very comfortable on any ladder and this job was not received with a welcome invitation.  I actually wonder if I had a sense of panic that was read on my face, because shortly after, Amy asked if I would like to switch jobs with her.  I tried to play it cool and said, “I don’t care.  Whatever you want to do.”  However on the inside, I was screaming “THANK YOU!  Please get me off this ladder!”

I grabbed her roller and handed my ladder and brush over to her.  I was so thankful to have the ground under my feet again.  I picked up where Amy left off and began to paint the walls.  The roller seemed to be a little defective as it would only roll about 25% of the time while the rest of the time was spent globbing the paint on and smoothing it out.  Not ideal at all, but hey, I wasn’t on the ladder.  Also, since the walls were concrete, tiny rocks and pebbles would get stuck in the roller.  This created a daunting task of repainting areas that were just covered because the rocks created huge streaks.  I was constantly picking out these rocks, even to the point of Adam commenting that I kept playing with my roller because more time was spent with rock removal than actual painting.

As the work day came close to an end, the team began to sing worship songs while we were working.  It was a great experience and I wish I could describe how uplifting this was to be a part of.  It was a little funny as well, because here we all are, Christians who love the Lord with all our hearts, and so many people were too shy to sing praises to God.  I don’t quite understand, but we all have insecurities I guess.  I considered the hesitation of some and it shifted my thoughts to heaven.  When we are in heaven, the praises will flow naturally and the music will be perfect.  There is no worry of singing off key, but the praise is pure, undefiled, and perfect.  Sometimes I can’t wait for that day!

Day two complete.  Another hard day’s work added to accomplishments.  Tomorrow is church.  As for me, I am looking forward to a good night’s sleep.

Ministry spelled: W-O-R-K

6/17/2011

Today, the plan for the team was to get up early, eat breakfast, and head out to the DTC for a full day's worth of work.  However, I am learning that the D.R. runs on it's own time schedule.  Unlike the US, the D.R. is not ruled by time management or the clock.  Life here reflects a much more laid back approach and the mentality is "I'll get to it when I get to it."  This was certainly the case this morning.

The team got up early as planned and ate breakfast.  Honestly, we were right on our time schedule.  Then Jim and Adam realized they needed some things from the hardware store called Ochoas.  To get a mental picture of this place, just imagine a Home Depot or Lowes store.  Ochoas is very similar.  Although very similar to our hardware stores, this place is incredibly slow to receive service.  I believe Jim and Adam were gone about two hours before returning back home.

We loaded up the materials in the back of the pickup and were on our way to the DTC.  We were all laughing and carrying on in the back of the truck.  Christa would smile and wave at kids, saying, "hola!"  I would also wave and smile at people we passed.  I believe the team was so happy to finally be in the Dominican, that all of us were on cloud nine!

We arrived at the DTC and instantly went into work mode.  It was a little chaotic at first because we all dove right in and didn't have a clear direction.  Our first assignment was to remove wood, steel, and concrete from the warehouse.  I am sure this sounds pretty much like typical work, but it was not easy at all.  The warehouse is located on the second story of the DTC, so this involved carrying these objects up and down the stairs.  Did I mention that the planks of wood we were moving were huge?  It was a difficult task to maneuver these over and under the stairs.  This was the same for the sheet metal we had to move as well.  We ended up sliding the metal through the stairs to the ground below.  We also removed concrete cinder blocks from the warehouse and took those down stairs.

These tasks were quite humbling for me for a couple of reasons.  I have always taken pride in my work ethic knowing that no matter what I will get the job done.  However, these tasks really challenged me physically because I was not used to moving large, heavy objects- let alone up and down a flight of stairs.  I remember looking at Whitney as she was carrying two cinder blocks down the stairs and saying if she can do it, so can I.  So I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed two blocks.  I am not going to lie to you, it practically killed me.  As I was carrying these blocks, I couldn't get the vision out of my head of me tumbling down the stairs and breaking my neck.  When I made it safe to the land, I made the executive decision to never do that again.  I would take it at my own pace and on my own level.  Even though I knew better, I realized how important it is not to compare yourself to others.  There will always be someone who is better than you...always.  What is important is to do the best that you can do.  As long as what I am doing is unto the Lord and I am doing the best that I can do, I am certain that brings glory to God.

I think I need to remind you of where we are at, as well.  The Dominican is pretty close to the equator, so we are not talking about a nice summer day in Indiana.  It was HOT and sticky.  I could look at everyone and we were all dripping sweat.  Not to be gross, but seriously I think all of us were sweating in areas that we didn't even know could sweat.  Again, a humbling experience for me because I don't like for others to see me sweat.  I just don't think it's lady like and I find it rather disgusting.  After about twenty minutes, that all went out the window as I could see my pants saturated with sweat and there was no hiding it.  I really had to suck it up so to speak, because I was here to work, not to win a hygiene award.

Once we had removed everything from the warehouse it was time for lunch.  We had packed some sandwiches, chips, fruit, and juice to enjoy.  We loaded up the truck and drove down the huge hill to a gazebo on the grounds.  This place was beautiful.  The roof resembeled that of a hut that you may have seen on Gilligan's Island.  It was made out of grass looking material, packed together in mud.  (At least that's what it looked like.  It may not have been grass or mud.)  There were no walls which invited the day's breeze to comfort us in the shade.  Stefanie was the first to point out a lizard on the roof of the gazebo.  Sure enough as I looked there was a tiny green lizard staring at us enjoying our meal.  I began to shift my eyes to the ceiling and discovered there were several lizards coming out to see the newcomers.  It was really neat to see and all I could do was take it in.

Somehow during our lunch, the topic of spiders came up.  Christa is terrified of spiders and I noticed her eyes shift to the ceiling of the gazebo.  She began to look this place up and down being ever so vigiliant to spy anything suspicous.  It probably didn't help that Nathan and Daniel were talking about the tarantuals that were out on the grounds.  Oh yeah, and then Daniel pulled out some pictures he had of one on his arm that was the size of a softball.  Real smoothe, gentlemen.  Real smoothe.  Poor Christa looked like she was going to get sick.

After lunch we headed up the hill back to the DTC.  The goal for the rest of the day was to get the inside and outside of the DTC primed and ready to paint.  Stefanie and Christa volunteered to paint the outside.  I really admired them for this because they had to stand on a scaffold which consisted of a plank of wood between two ladders.  I definitely didn't look safe to me!  The rest of us began to pick up paint brushes and rollers and set out to prime the warehouse.  I began to do the trim along the bottom of the warehouse.  I really enjoyed this time.  It didn't really involve a lot of mental work, actually pretty much no mental work, so I was able to spend the time talking and fellowshipping with God.  Unaware, I would start to hum and sing to Jesus and really began to shift my focus to Him.  I would stop humming occasionally to pray and Nathan would ask me to start singing and humming again.  I didn't realize I had invited others to join in my worship, but I was thankful that he was enjoying it.

I looked around at eveyone being so diligent and it brought a smile to my face.  I could see Rachel, Adam, Daniel, and Nathan on ladders priming the rafters of the building.  I would chuckle as Rachel teased Daniel about the paint blobs he would leave and smile as Amy hummed a sweet song.  I gazed at Whitney, roller in hand, focusing on priming the walls the way Jim had shown her.  I couldn't help but wonder if this brought a smile to God's face as well.  Was he pleased with the unity and the work being accomplished.  I know He was right there with us, but did He feel welcome there?

It was time to leave for dinner and since we got such a late start, we were not able to get everything primed like we had hoped.  We knew would have to make up for that lost time tomorrow, but for now we were satisfied with the day's work.  We loaded up the truck and piled in.  I looked at my team, speckled with white primer and the smiles on their faces.  Today was a good day.  We arrived back at the house to be greeted with a wonderful meal.  We had a little time to grab a quick, cold shower and change into some decent clothes before we ate. 

After dinner, there was a little free time to relax.  Several of us decided to jump in the pool and take an evening swim.  The water felt marvelous!  Not too warm, but not cool at all.  Whitney, Nathan, and I began to play a game of keep away with a little ball we would throw to one another.  It was a welcome ending to a hard day's work.  Today's low: nothing.  Today's high: where do I start?

Feels Like Home To Me

June 16, 2011

The day began early, leaving Rachel's place around 2:30 in the morning.  Groggy-eyed, the two of us piled in my Explorer bags packed, with the Dominican in our sights.  Neither of us were able to sleep, each for different reasons.  I was excited, nervous, anxious, and afraid that if I did sleep, I would not wake up in time to catch our early morning flight.  My mind would not be still and all I could do was rest my head on the pillow watching the time quickly pass by.  I couldn't tell you what was going through Rachel's mind, but I am certain we shared some of the same anxieties.

We had to intercept Amy on the way, so we would be together when we met up with Whitney and her parents.  When we arrived to pick up Amy, we were suprised to see Amy so up and adam.  Her hair was done and she had makeup on, while the bags under my eyes were as heavy as my packed luggage.  Rachel and I joked with her commenting on how put together she looked.  Amy is a beautiful woman- it doesn't take much effort for her beauty to be seen.

The plan was to meet up with Whitney and her parents in Shelbyville, and they would take us to the airport to drop us off for our flight.  We met up with the family and were on our way to the airport.  Like I mentioned earlier, it was very early.  The conversation remained light, and honestly my mind was not focused on the topics of discussion.  My mind was already in the Dominican Republic and the assignment God had called me to.  Quietly, I began to pray to God and carry on my own conversation with Him.  "God, I don't know what's ahead of me, but please let me bring glory to your name."  I felt a lump in my throat as tears began to swell up in my eyes..."don't cry", I told myself.  I knew God would search my heart and know the overwhelming feeling of emotions I was trying to contain.  Even if I couldn't find the words to pray, God knew exactly where I was at.

We met up with the rest of the gang at the airport.  We checked in and after we checked our bags, we all gathered as a group and prayed.  That was a huge highlight of my morning, because our mission is about God, for God, and to God.  I can't imagine not inviting Him to dwell with us as we go out to do His work.  After an emotional goodbye from Whitney's parents, we were on our way to the security check point.  Nathan was leading the pack, obviously on a mission and using his prior mission experience to pave the way.  I followed close behind, like a dog who doesn't let their master out of their sight.  I didn't want to be left behind.

The plane we boarded was TINY!!  Honestly, after seeing the size of it, I placed my hand on it as I boarded and said, "In Jesus' name, let this be a safe flight."  Christa is very afraid of flying, so I put on my game face for her, but this plane was so small.  I spent most of this flight in quiet prayer and trying to encourage Christa to remain calm.  I was thankful for the window seat I was assigned.  For those of you who don't know me, I am a very visual person, so seeing the sights from the air added a sense of comfort to my uneasy nerves.  I pulled out my ipod and began to journal in the air.  I didn't want what I was feeling and thinking to fade away as time went on.  I wrote, "sitting on the plane reflecting on the glory of the Lord.  I see the beautiful sky and the fog that has rolled over the valleys and my heart is in awe.  The same God that created all of this knows me by name.  I am so insignificant in the entire scheme of things, but God has chosen me to be a vessel to be used to glorify His name.  Father, I pray that I would honor you in every thought, work, deed, action, and purpose.  Not only for this trip bur for all my life and all eternity.  Please draw me closer than I have ever been to You, revealing who You really are and opening my mind, eyes, and heart to receive such revelation.  I give this trip to You and lay every anxiety, worry, burden and weight that would hold me back from what I believe to be Your magnificent calling in my life.  I ask that Your will be done in all things and that lives will forever be changed on this journey.  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

We landed in Miami to catch our connecting flight to the Dominican.  Thankfully, that plane was huge and felt more secure than the previous plane.  As we prepared for take off, I looked at the group of people that had become my closest friends wondering the thoughts that were going through their minds.  I took a deep breath and began to reflect as I looked out the window.  As we got closer to the Dominican, the scenes outside my window were breath-taking.  I will try to include pictures of what I was able to witness, because honestly, words would not be able to bring justice to the beauty that captivated me.

I had to try to put everything into words, so again I pulled out my ipod and began to write.  "On the plane to the Dominican!!  Yay!!  I feel like a little child struck with wonder!  I can't seem to peel my eyes from this window seat.  The view is so indescribable.  I look at the different shades of aqua, teal, light beige, and the most piercing blue I have ever seen.  I reflect on my friends sitting beside me.  One trying desperately to catch some much needed sleep, the other laughing at the silent show that is played on the flight.  How can they not be taken by this beauty?  How can they carry on while the portrait of God surrounds this plane?  Maybe my wonder comes from new surroundings.  Afterall, I have never done this before.  Perhaps it's because I was blessed with a marvelous window seat (that I had secretly prayed for), but somehow to my heart, it screams of God's beauty and love.  Many thoughts have gone through my head.  Seeing the sandy beaches, I am reminded that God's thoughts for me are so much more that the sand I see.  Really it is unfathomable...to wrap our minds around the depth of God.  I know I am nowhere close to understanding who the God of this universe is.  However, this truth will not cease me from pursuing my true heart's desire."

As we landed in the D.R., I felt a sense of great belonging.  In fact, as we were pulling up to the airport, the thought, "I'm home" came in my heart.  I don't know God's plan or His timing, but I certainly pray I am called to this place. 

As I was reflecting, the song "Power of Your Name" by Lincoln Brewster came up in my heart.  The song is phenomenal!  The lyrics are so true to what Christians need to be doing.  This life is not about us...period.  Jesus did not say that we are to have great, wonderful, easy lives.  In fact, he told us to be servants, which actually translates SLAVE.  We need to be the ones reaching those who are hurting, broken, and lost.  We are called to be the hands that reach out.  We do this because it is what our master expects and that should be the primary reason.  Not for a feel good story to share with others.  This is what I have been called to.

We landed and getting through customs was a lot easier than I had expected.  Maybe it's because we all had matching t-shirts, so we were less of a threat!  Either way, I was thankful to be on our way.  We were greeted by the Whites and two vehicles.  We loaded up all our luggage in the back of the truck and most of the team piled in the Jeep.  Nathan and I chose to ride in the back of the pickup truck because I didn't want any scene to escape me.

Let me just say that driving in the Dominican is NUTS!!  There aren't really a lot of driving laws, so you kinda have to fend for yourself.  Tailgating is expected as well as illegal passing and the marks of a seasoned driver include laying on the horn at least 20 times during your drive.  Later, I found out that Jim explained to the girls in the Jeep that "you're not too close unless your mirrors touch"!  Perfect, I was in a country that had no regard for my safety, but secretely I loved everything about it!  Also, there is really no road rage there, which is suprising because we had a lot of "almost" accidents, but everyone honks and smiles, even if you cut them off.  That's a far cry from our country which curses you for not going 5 miles over the speed limit!!  I will try to include some video so you can see the craziness that I grew to love!!

After we arrived at the White House (hahaha), we settled in and met with Jim and Teresa.  After a short introduction and rules, we headed off the the Discipleship Training Center or DTC for short.  As I mentioned earlier, there are no driving rules really, so it was not even questioned when we all piled in the back of the pickup truck.  Here we were, 8 white Americanos in the back of a Dodge pickup truck, trying not to draw attention to ourselves.  Right!  It seems everwhere we went we were being honked at, waved to, hollered at, and smiled at.  Not the reaction I was expecting, but honestly it was a welcome reception.  Keep in mind, that most of the group consists of women so it was not uncommon for the men of the D.R. to holler at us and blow us kisses.  We tried to blow it off.  A couple of times to dissipate the awkwardness of the situation, I would joke with the girls and Nathan about the warm welcome we were receiving.  Later, we discovered that when they blew us kisses, it was not a friendly gesture, but that of a sexual connotation.  Needless to say, whenever someone blew us kisses, we kindly looked the other way.

The ride the the DTC was just as breathtaking as the flight.  Palm trees paved the roads that soon became dirt roads filled with holes.  After we left the city, the scenery changed to something you would see in a movie.  In fact, I remember commenting to Nathan that I half expected a velociraptor to jump out of the thick brush.  It seriously looked like the scenery from Jurassic Park.  The trees and vegetation were so thick, and the land was so uneven.  Hills, valleys, and mountains could all be seen on our drive.  It was beautiful!  The roads were quite bumpy and in the back of that truck you felt every bump.  Throughout the week, the bumps became the topics of discussion as well as our bodies being covered in bruises, but honestly, I grew to love our pickup truck rides.  After a brief tour of the DTC and the land around it, we piled back in the truck and headed back to the house. 

The Whites have a thing where you mention your highs and lows for the day.  I really grew to love this time of sharing.  I remember sharing that my low for the day was all the anxiety I had been experiencing prior to the trip and even on the plane.  However, my high was the peace that instantly came in my heart the moment we landed in the Dominican Republic.  After sharing we all got ready for bed, we had an early morning ahead of us and a lot of work to do at the DTC the next day.

An Introduction To The Team

Let me just preface this by saying I have never blogged before, but I desire to share with everyone what I experienced during my mission trip to the Dominican Republic and Haiti.  Welcome to the randomness that is me and I hope to include you on the journey that has changed my life.

Before I begin, I think it is a good idea to give you a little background on the team that I accompanied on this trip.  We are called "Serving the Purpose" or "STP" for short.  The mission of our team is taken out of Matthew 25:35-36.  "For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me."  It's pretty self-explanatory, but our goal is to reflect Jesus to the world and reach out to everyone with arms of love, serving and putting others' needs first.  Did I mention that we are all from different churches?  We desire to be the unified body of Christ, regardless of denomination.  Afterall, I can't recall the bible singling out any denomination to carry on the gospel of Christ.  In fact, it was when the body was unified that God's power was made manifest.

Our leader is Adam White, a young man who loves the Lord with all his being.  Adam has somewhat of a black and white view of life, and has challenged many of us in our Christian walks.  There are no gray areas concerning the Bible in his mind.  What's written is what stands.  I think it's great to have him as our leader, because as I mentioned above, he challenges my walk with the Lord.  He truly has a servant's heart and really strives to reflect the life of Jesus.  Another characteristic of him that I greatly admire is his humility.  Like I said, he is usually pretty black and white, but definitely tries to seek out the ultimate truth that is in the bible.  If he is incorrect, he is not afraid to admit it.  Afterall, we are all growing in our walks and who really has it all together?

Whitney Thomas is another member of our team.  Whitney reminds me of Stephen from the bible.  She has such a quiet personality, but a depth that most could never fathom.  Her heart for the Lord is enough to make one jealous.  She possesses such a quiet strength and zeal that is contagious.  She is the type of person that you listen when she speaks, because ususally what she says is profound.  Did I mention that she has such a sweet countenance and her smile brings peace to others?

Another member of the team is Nathan Lechien.  How do I describe Nathan?  To me, he reminds me of the little brother you always wanted.  Not in an "awww...he's so sweet" type of way, but more like he is the one I would protect over anything.  Not that he can't fend for himself, because he totally could, but he has a very innocent quality that is very endearing.  Don't be fooled by this description though.  His humor is magnificent!  He is the person who waits for the perfect time to crack a joke and his delivery adds even more to the humor.  Nathan is a young man who loves the Lord and is very transparent in his walk with the Lord.  He has such a tender heart and I know that when he prays, God is wearing an ear to ear smile.  Nathan truly is a man after God's heart and continually strives to live a life that is an example.

Amy Dorn is an amazing woman that joined us.  Amy is a music teacher and has a smile that lights up the darkest places.  She has the typical "sweetness" that most music teachers possess, but she is far from typical.  Amy is a woman who is talented in so many areas that it's hard not to compare yourself to her and come up lacking.  Amy is the ultimate package: smart, beautiful, joyful and her love for Jesus is contagious.  Amy has such a sweet personality and invites conversation with ease.  Even if you have just met her, she makes you feel like you have known eachother forever.  Amy also has an awesome sense of humor and willingly shares stories filled with humorous characters and situations that will have you rolling.  Just ask her about her Grandma Dorn and the cops!

One member of our team who has challenged me the most is Christa Stalets.  Christa is not even twenty years old, and her spiritual maturity is quite convicting.  She reminds me a lot of Paul from the bible.  She has such a zeal for the Lord, and her zeal is not concealled at all.  In fact, this woman possesses a fierce boldness to proclaim the gospel.  She has such a compassoinate heart for the lost and a genuine sincerity for souls that are condemned to hell.  She also has such a hunger and understanding of the Word of God.  She definitely uses her bible as her sword to fight the darkness that engulfs this world.  Christa also has an innocent quality about her, but this is overcompensated by a great mischievous side.  She always has a smirk on her face and that's because she is usually up to something.  She is an amazing woman of God with a huge calling on her life.  Missions is her heart, but she will be the first to tell you that you don't have to go to another country to do missions.  There is a huge mission field in each of our lives and we should reach out to others just as we would in another land.

Another valuable team member is Stefanie Barnes.  Stefanie is a very analytical person and usually waits to process information before speaking, a girft I greatly admire.  Stefanie has a very easy going personality and instantly makes one feel at ease.  Her laugh is contagious and her strength is undeniable.  She is not afraid of anyone and is not afraid to speak her mind.  I especially appreciate this boldness when it comes to sharing the good news with others.  Stef also has a very tender heart and is really great with children.  Stef is also the planning sort of person, the one that has the organizational skills that would make any CEO jealous.  To put it bluntly, if I had a business, I would put her in charge of everything because I know it would be done the right way without any detail being overlooked.

One key member of the team is Rachel Detamore.  It is so hard to describe Rachel because I have a great affinity in my heart for her.  She is from Texas, so has that southern drawl but also the sassiness of a country girl.  She is a woman who can take care of herself, but has a tenderness that takes time to unveil.  I may be bias, but Rachel is a kindred soul.  She feels like home and conversations can and will go to a great depth.  This girl has an amazing view of life and such a wealth of knowledge of the Word of God.  She has a gift of making biblical characters come to life and putting you in the time and situation that each character faced.  She addresses the emotional side of the characters and what they may have been experiencing.  She has a great teaching gift, as well as a powerful intecessor.  She is also a great encourager to others, revealing giftings that may be overlooked by others.

While we were in the Dominican, we stayed with Adam's parents, Jim and Teresa White.  Words cannot describe these two, but I willl try to paint a word picture to you.  Jim is a man that automatically commands your attention.  Not because he is loud, domineering, or trying to make his presence shown.  In truth, the total opposite is what is so commanding about him.  Jim posesses a quiet strength and is not quick to speak.  I think of him as a quiet observer, taking everything in and watching.  Jim is a strong man in the Lord with great wisdom of the scriptures.  Jim was unjustly kicked out of Haiti because of government corruption, but is a great example of being persecuted for Christ.  I am sorry that it happened to him, but his story is a great encouragement of standing when everything else is coming against you.  I will be honest, Jim kinda intimidates me because of his quietness.  I can't help question what thoughts are going through his head when I am around him...it drives me crazy!!

Teresa is the complete opposite of her husband in many aspects.  She has a very, very sweet personality.  Her smile is so inviting and you instantly feel welcome when she is around.  Teresa is also very strong, and you can sense this in the first five minutes of meeting her.  She has such a strong relationship with the Lord and you listen when she speaks.  Her wisdom is flavored with the salt of God's word and she commands respect wherever she is at.  She has a gentle spirit and a heart dedicated to worshipping our Lord.  Teresa also posesses a deep humility that I greatly admire.  Honestly, I pray that I become a woman of God that shares many of her characteristics,  she truly is the proverbs 31 woman.

We also met an intern while we were there.  His name is Daniel Dortch and I am so thankful he joined us.  Daniel is an awesome man of God.  His facebook profile says he is fluent in sarcasm and I couldn't agree more!  It was always an adventure being around him and you couldn't help but smile in his presence.  From stories about tarantulas to his witty jokes, Daniel instantly fit in with our team.  One thing about Daniel that I observed and greatly admired about him was his servant heart.  Rachel compared him to the farmboy in "The Princess Bride" and I couldn't agree more with that analogy.  If you have seen the movie, you know what I am talking about.  Whenever something needed to be done, the farmboy would simply say, "as you wish" and perform the task at hand.  This is very similar to Daniel, although most of the time you wouldn't even have to ask him to do something.  He would already be in the process of doing it.  I found this to be one of Daniel's greatest strengths and he accredited Teresa for his servanthood.

I am sorry this is so long, but in order to understand all the events of the trip, you have to understand we were a team.  The events didn't just happen to one of us, but all of us.  If I didn't introduce you to the team, you would have no idea of what happened.  There were two other members that joined us on our Haiti adventure, but I will introduce them to you later.